Psychological health during physical illness
What's good in being sick? The disease must be treated, and the sooner the better. Getting sick is bad, unfashionable and generally unnecessary. There is such a social attitude.
Yes, it is not very pleasant to be ill. Getting sick is sometimes even life threatening. But, nevertheless, patient's condition – has its advantages, there are lots of.
Disease and pain are related. Pain is a strong signal from the nervous system: "something is wrong, do something immediately to fix it!" Visualize, imagine for a moment that you accidentally touch something hot – for example, a kettle. Pain in such a situation will be a signal, stimulus, motivation – to pull the hand back. The pain is useful – accepting it, you will avoid damage to the body in the form of a burn.
The psychology of children differs significantly from the psychology of adults – precisely in reaction to pain. Children usually "relay", transmit "pain signal" to someone – their pain turns into tears or a cry. The essence of screaming and tears is reduced to a simple message: "Help" – which is directed to people around them – usually adults.
An adult, on the other hand, knows how to "dive into pain" – to receive and decipher this signal, gaining valuable experience and actively coping with the problem that caused this pain.
Of course, this split is very simplified and conditional, but it demonstates the essence. A child will not go to the dentist by him- or herself – because it hurts. But an adult will do it, because it's useful. The psychology of an adult allows to go through pain, when a child can only transmit and avoid it.
But, besides these two strategies, which can be conventionally called "child" and "adult", there is a third one – let's call it "ostrich". This is a kind of reaction to pain when a person does not pass it on to someone (like a child), and does not deal with it (like an adult) – but simply “hides his head in the sand”.
Does it hurt? Not at all...
The looking at the illness like it is something extremely bad only – reminds me a child who refuses to go to a dentist. Or an ostrich.
Illness is like a "pain signal" from the life itself. This is an indicator that something went wrong. And all of these "wrongs" – if not discovered in time, then, like ostriches, they hide their heads in consciousness, subconsciousness, body. And then, when there are too many "ostriches" hidden inside, then illness comes. To my opinion, all the books on the so-called psychosomatics are about this, just much more detailed and expanded.
So, "ignoring" and "the sooner the better", according to my observations, is not what works with diseases. If life has sent you this very "signal of pain" – you need to "perceive" it and "react" – that is: first, do not delay treatment; second – do not rush to recover. So, if you are sick – be sick "the whole nine yards".
And, after a psychologically correct passed state of illness, you can in some way become healthier than before.
So, what is needed to do for this and how to behave? The simplest and most basic, but for some reason often difficult to understand thing, is that
1. During illness, first of all, one should not "do something", but "not do something".
For most diseases, bed rest is recommended, and this "horizontal mode" is not without reason. If you get sick, it means that you have a weakened immune system, which "passed" the infection inside, like a goalkeeper – a goal. And if the immune system is weakened, it means that you have been tired for a long time, carrying large, unhealthy and uninteresting load (emotional, intellectual, physical – any king of).
Therefore, if you look more broadly, illness, in many cases, is a way to get rid of excessively taken responsibilities.
Disease – can be a salvation, a way to stop going to an unloved job / school / company / place / whatever. This is a kind of anti-manipulation.
Often, a person's illness is not so much about health as such. This is often about the relationship with the boss, or with a loved one – if he or she behaves like a boss. For a child or teenager, illness in many cases is about relationships with not very mentally mature and healthy parents who push him or her around and ignore his os her aspirations and interests.
Illness is the redistribution of power and responsibility, abilities and opportunities in the life of an individual. It's like a small revolution.
But since the revolution is a rather "expensive" event in terms of resources, money and time, it is very important not to be an ostrich during it: not to pretend that everything is fine, there is no illness at all – but to use it competently. Disease is like a huge banner that fate brings into the life of a sick person, on which it is written: "Stop being an ostrich!"
This is a very high price that the body pays to relieve itself of excess stress, manipulation, and restore power and influence – in a sick person's own life.
Aristocrats – could afford to get sick, commoners / peasants – could not. A sick commoner is – in most cases – a dead commoner. A sick aristocrat is – in most cases – an aristocrat who improves health at a sanitorium.
If you get sick – congratulations, your "royal blood" calling! So allow yourself to get the most out of the disease, instead of continuing to do unnecessary things, redundant for your psyche and body.
The illness, unfortunately or fortunately, is an indicator that for some time BEFORE the illness you behaved like an ostrich, i.e. ignored some obviously not useful things. And it's very important to stop running crazy, get your head out of the sand and take a look around.
Illness can often provoke you – if you are ill – to express completely justified, deserved, constructive aggression towards some people around you. And it will be very useful to express this aggression competently and purposefully. It has been checked – the expression of such "sore" aggression helps to recover sooner.
But aggression is a thing that needs to be expressed carefully and very accurately. It is worthwhile to understand as fully and specifically as possible what was wrong in your life and relationships with others – and why. And for this –
2. Illness should be perceived as meditation – a journey into the essence of life and the depth of oneself.
Since you have become "disabled" in the external world, maybe it is time to "work hard" in the internal? Read those books and watch movies that you have long wanted. Get some good sleep. Balance on the verge between dream and reality, which, frankly speaking, is a very powerful creative state.
Moreover, it often seems that during the illness you want it and it turns out like that.
There are studies that show that the level of dopamine – the hormone responsible for motivation – rises dramatically, just jumps up after stress (for example, after losing a fight) – even for animals, at such a deep psychological level.
And what is a disease if not a "fight" lost by the immune system? Therefore, if you get sick, then you – at the same time – are not very able-bodied and generally mobile in the outside world, because the body is weakened by disease; but at the same time you have a high level of dopamine – and, therefore, the motivation to do something. And since in the outside world you are not particularly capable of doing something, then this very motivation mainly goes inward – i.e. into the emotional and mental sphere.
In short, precisely because beibg sick hurts, and is difficult, for asick person it becomes easier to think and meditate. Take advantage of this. Your body had paid for it. And since you paid off – so take what you have paid for – from the inside, from the inner world, from your emotions, memory, mind, consciousness and the unconscious.
But the outside world also has something to please you during an illness. Because
3. Illness is a means of attracting attention.
Those who previously did not have a good reason begin to "help" the sick one – now they will gladly do it.
Therefore, be sure to accept and receive signs of love and gratitude from your loved ones, when you are sick – you will make yourself and them better and more pleasant. Moreover, perhaps, they simply did not have the incentive and reason to express these signs of attention earlier – and your illness made their task easier.
Disease, in general, shows you those who need you not only in joy, but also in sorrow. Look closely – and appreciate these people.
Disease is like a test, like a litmus. It shows not only real friends, but real enemies too.
If your boss, for example, takes care of you during sick leave, sends small greetings / presents from the office, wishes "get well soon" – he or she is your friend. If, on the contrary, he or she writes or calls regularly with such pressure: "maybe you can work on sick leave!" – he or she is your enemy, i.e. not set up for long-term mutually respectful cooperation, but set out to "squeeze all the juice out of you" – and then hire someone to replace.
It is quite possible that because of the constant passive aggression and pressure from the side of this "bosses" you actually got sick.
But, thank God, not all people live according to Machiavellian and think not only about how to f..k others more cynically. Kindness and mutual assistance are in most cases more beneficial for people. This is well written about in many modern works on evolutionary biology – for example, by Richard Dawkins, I highly recommend reading it.
But when I myself think about it, and do not read scientific literature, I often recall (either a fictional or a real) parable-story about corn, which I read somewhere on the internet.
A farmer, whose field had consistently brought him good and large corn harvest for many years, is interviewed. They ask: "What is your secret?" The farmer replies: "Every year, after harvesting, I give my best ears to my neighbors, for seeds. Since our plots are nearby, next year bees, arriving from neighboring plots, due to cross-pollination, make my own harvest better. I help those who are next to me – and they – even involuntarily – help me – that's the whole secret. "
This story is a good illustration of the fact that the human world, for the most part, is a positive and kind place where you can always find help. Where to help your loved ones is profitable and reasonable, and therefore is a common thing.
Disease – a state in which you are weak and helpless – reminds of this very well. And it's important to use
4. Disease as a "trainer of world confidence".
Balance between activity and passivity, internal and external, "me" and "they" is very important. And, if you got the so-called "superhero complex", i.e. began to take on too much – illness will help you to "let go of the reins".
The life control panel is not only in your hands. It is also in the hands of some other – external to you – force, which people historically call "God", "destiny" or "Providence". Perhaps that is why, by the way, the famous Friedrich Nietzsche, who wrote the equally famous "God died" – at the end of his life was sick so much and being in a completely helpless state, broken by paralysis.
More specifically, the disease teaches you not only to test people, showing their true attitude towards you, but also to trust those who have passed such a test. Even Batman needs his Robin, Pennyworth, and Catwoman. Illness is an excuse to take off your ridiculous "superhero" costume and start appreciating your loved ones.
But speaking of closeness, not everyone who is physically close to us is close to us in spirit. Therefore, illness – and especially the most common thing that people usually get sick with – the so-called flu is
5. A means of "asexual reproduction" and "territory marking".
Yes, yes, it is – at the same time – a means of claiming territory and expressing love.
A person that caugh cold releases into space a large amount of him- or herself – physically – using body cells – by sneezing and coughing. A person literally covers, marks the space around with own biological markers and labels. This happens when this space is not enough, or when there is someone in the living space who limits and suppresses the will of a sick person – especially who contradicts satisfaction of the sexual instinct.
Why sexual? Because illness is in many ways about relationships with people, see paragraph 1. And sexual interaction is the most powerful, pleasant, natural and creative way of interaction between people. It is love expressed physically – the desire to share a part of your body, your DNA, and to absorb a part of the body, a part of the DNA of another – through sex, kissing or breastfeeding. Yes, the relationship between mother and child is also in this field.
And when there are such needs, but it is impossible to express those needs in a pleasant and healthy way, then illness comes to the rescue, spreading your DNA around the surrounding space at a speed of 100 m/s and 10 l/s (as, for example, when sneezing).
Love has many forms. And, in my experience, illness – and especially respiratory infections – is one of such bizarre expressions of love.
Disease is a great and good reason to remove from your life and your territory people who are unloved and limit you in the manifestation of this kind of love – and fill with loving ones. Loving in the full sense, including physically. The spectrum of thermal radiation of the human body is curative for most diseases! Therefore, it is so useful to even just sleep with your loved one in an embrace. Therefore, a small child climbs into bed with parents – wishing to give and receive warmth and love.
Similar to the spectrum of the human body, by the way, is the thermal spectrum of the Russian stove – therefore, probably, Ivan the Fool, after thirty years of lying on this stove, was quite able to save Mother Russia (due to the famous tale).
The disease raises questions – who will hug you, warm and heal you with their warmth, even when you are sick? And with whom will you go to sleep in an embrace, despite the risk of infection? Do your loved ones give you enough warmth (both literally and figuratively)? Do you give your loved ones this warmth (also – literally and figuratively)?
Temporary disability being sick is not such a big price to pay for a deep, sincere and honest answer to these questions.
Attention! Remember that besides psychology, there is also physiology; and one complements the other! Take medication, listen to the doctor's advice – unless, of course, they contradict your deepest sincere feelings. Medicine is great, but the responsibility for your health lies primarily on you and your family, and then on the medicine and the doctor.
Both the doctor and the medicine *help* you get well, but without benefit and learning from the disease, getting well too quickly can be just... harmful, in a broader sight, to your entire life.
And if you treat the disease more consciously – as a symptom that something went wrong in life – you and your loved ones will benefit greatly. And you will recover faster!
P.S. And, well, about the coronavirus. If pain is a signal from the body that something is wrong, illness is a signal from life that something is wrong, then an epidemic is a signal that something is wrong – not even in the life of a specific person, but in the life of all people or social group affected by this epidemic. Such a huge signal – from the biosphere, from Gaia, from Mother Earth.
That is why I published this article. It's time.
What changes is the coronavirus pandemic pushing for humanity? What problems can it indicate?
Firstly, it is a rejection of emotional terror and the formation of greater respect and trust from the bosses of all stripes to their employees, especially office workers – after all, the epidemic simply forces them to be transferred to a "remote location", which requires more trust and respect in general.
Secondly, it is, of course, the decentralization of modern megacities. The internet has already been invented, the means of logistics, i.e. delivery of anything anywhere among modern people has long been at its best. You don't need to harness the chaise – you can send the drone. Therefore, there is no need an now to live in overcrowded cities with disgusting ecology, dust, noise, in cramped kennels of apartments. At least this need had become much smaller.
And the coronavirus, again, voluntarily-forcibly hints at this, spreading as quickly as possible in a crowded urban environment.
Thirdly, the coronavirus affects primarily a rather rigid section of society – people of age who already have some other diseases. People who have already disregarded their body – and, therefore, their consciousness – because the disease is a "riot" of unresolved problems buried in the psyche of "ostriches".
Moreover, being chronically unhealthy is the aristocratic luxury, which means that such people must have – at least minimal – money and power in order to live to the point where they are "met by the coronavirus" and not die earlier.
This means that the coronavirus is a voluntary and compulsory cleansing of humanity from ineffective leaders, managers and politicians – balding men who hide huge arthritic bellies under oak tables; or tyrannizing children and grandchildren with their antics of power-hungry old women.
Of course, it is necessary to honor the elders – but only if these elders have not "went bananas". And the situation in many countries of the world, with the "fathers" who are "stuck" to the presidential armchairs, points out that this is not a problem of even one country. This is now a systemic problem of all mankind.
And the coronavirus here can act as its natural, biological solution – clearing the way for new generations of healthy (in every sense) people; whose talents previously simply could not manifest themselves in an atmosphere of "office slavery" and political dictatorship.
If you look at the root, the coronavirus went from China; where are all three of these problems are present: disrespect for ordinary workers (who defenestrate due to stress and overload), huge population, concentrated mostly in cities, and harsh political tyranny.
Such assumptions I have. Do you agree? Do not agree? Maybe you have something to add? Add me on social networks, let's discuss :)